12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
