my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
