YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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