ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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