Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
then he tried to convert me to islam
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
