if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
