as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
