when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
