so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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