Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just want to make out with him forever
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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