ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
