If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
