just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
