What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
