No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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