Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I love you.
Bad choice
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
