i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
