Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
