I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize