Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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