One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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