if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it because I queefed?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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