he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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