I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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