Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
