Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
