why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
