You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
