Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
