Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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