You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
