so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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