Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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