It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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