Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
