hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love having hate sex.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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