I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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