It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
