What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
