So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
