so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
