he wants to bone in the snuggie
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
