wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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