I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
