Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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