We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He better not be in your backpack
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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