Can Purell be used as lube?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He felt like a one man threesome
He passed out mid-signature
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
