guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Boobs are out for the taking
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
