you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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