i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
