GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We were destined to go to rehab together
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize