Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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