Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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