i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
try to milk me bitch
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