Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
