We should be called the Road Head Warriors
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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